Showing posts with label From the Depth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label From the Depth. Show all posts

Sunday, April 11, 2010

My Dream

Since the age of 7 years old,I was able to remember my dreams and I easily can tell the details.I used to write those dreams in papers and made images to bring out my visualization.I once had a dream when I was at elementary, about dark angel with black hood, circling my house and try to catch me.But he couldn't get inside,he couldn't even go over the fence.I can still feel the fear inside me,how that black shadow,without any face,waiting for the chance to catch me.I can describe it quite like a Dementor. But this dream is so long ago before the Rowling write any Potter's thing.But,since I was a kid,I never really concern about these.

When I was in High School,all of these dreams became even more extraordinary,I sometimes feel that these dreams could have make great ideas for Hollywood movies.One of the coolest was the dream when the earth is no longer have an atmosphere to protect it from the sun,so that humans create a substitution,some kind of fake atmosphere,made from steel,and it really fulfill all of the functions of the real one and it also generate fake sunshine and heat.Consequently,human kind will no longer have the chance to see and feel the real sunshine.In that dream,moment I remember was when it is the time to activate that fake veil,all the humans cried,because they will never ever gonna see the real sunshine,real sky and real stars.It was like very real for me.I remember my chest was hurt when I woke up.

After 2004,I began to dream about disasters especially Tsunamis about three or four times.But what I can remember very detailed was my two latest,because it attacked cities nearby.Some friends told me that those dreams were the manifestation of my hidden worries. I don't think so.

Once I had a dream about a movie star X,then I woke up,went to the bathroom and when I got back,I looked at TV as my brother watched E!,there She was,X!what I usually do is shake my head. So sometimes,it's so funny,when I dreamed of something,I just wait for the rest of the day to something happen exactly the same as I had dreamed that night.

09/04/2010 ... I had a dream about plane crashed.I witnessed it from a building top.It flew down,went up,circled twice,flew to my right side and went down,crashed.All of people surround the area ran to the crash point including me.As I ran,with so many people inarticulately cried, I found that,the crash point is side by side with the military cemetery,which at that time,held a ceremony,body transferring from that ordinary cemetery to better one.All of the families of the mortal remains are attending the ceremony.So it was so hectic,while the ambulance and paramedic tried to pull the victim from plane rubble,the military ceremony continued to be done.

Just now,11/04/2010, I received a news from a friend, that the aging Tupolev plane crashed in thick fog near Smolensk in western Russia on Saturday (10/04/10), killing all 97 people on board. Kaczynski had been planning to mark the 70th anniversary of the massacre of Polish officers by Soviet forces in a nearby forest.
It shook me,trembled inside,because of it's similarity,exactly inline with what I just dreamed the night before the accident.My dreams usually so Hollywood or very Armageddon.But this is for the first time,in my history of weird dreams,really comes to life.

I googled. I found this :
Prophetic dreams have been recorded throughout history, some by famous names such as Tuthmosis IV, an Egyptian Pharaoh; President Abraham Lincoln; and Edgar Cayce, "The Sleeping Prophet." Can dreams really predict the future? History and science have proved that the ability to sense or glimpse the future does exist, but they have yet to discover the how and why.

The Brain and Precognition

One of the problems science has encountered in trying to find proof that precognitive ability truly exists, is that in order to predict the future, one must somehow defy the concept of linear time. Albert Einstein theorized that the past, present, and future are all an illusion.

To understand this, one must also understand how the human brain works. The conscious mind seeks to compartmentalize information in a never-ending quest to have things in their nice, neat place. The subconscious mind, however, realizes that there are no boundaries, and reaches past the illusion of confinement and time.

Brain scans show that premonitions manifest from the portion of the brain that controls emotions. In someone more developed, the visual cortex may also become engaged and a person can receive more details of the vision. Recent studies have shown that creative individuals display higher accuracy rates in precognitive tests.
Frequency and Resonance

Some humans and animals are able to sense an earthquake before it happens. Scientists believe that the shifting of the Earth’s plates creates a frequency that the brain may sometimes be able to detect. The Earth normally resonates at a frequency of about 7.83 hertz. Someone in tune with the frequency could sense a disruption.

Friday, January 22, 2010

It's just me, my happiness

Some people say it's about the money that you make, the house you live in or cars you ride. Some also say it's your job, career, how many businesses you have or how famous you are. Many of my friends said that it's about family they build, husbands, wives or cute children they have. Younger friends said it's the existence among friends, countries they've visited or wild experiences they've ever done in their life.

Mary, a friend of mine who blessed with two cute kids in her late 20's, complained about her boring and overwhelming life. She and her working husband are struggling to raise their growing kids and nearly have no time for themselves. She envy her friends who still hanging out late at nights or chasing for post graduate degree or simply just doing their hobbies. She is not happy.

John, barely know him. He's a man some girls might dream. He has everything, no need to mention each of them. He travels a lot, Europe and all exotic countries in South, for him, money has never been a problem. But he was there, sit with me, had cups of coffee, talked about family he's always dream of. It seemed that everything he do in his life would've more enjoyable if he had a wife and a son of his dream.

A few months ago, I met Cynthia, my best friend, oh I envy her style, she always amaze me. She got the look and also brain. She lives in a big city of Manhattan, with big career and big opportunities to grow bigger. She marry a rich man ... I mean, she once ever wanted. She was driving her Porsche when she told me she never loved him. She marry him because her parent made her. So what in the world is happening in to sacred marriage and live happily ever after?

I watched E! and so many celebrities had their privacy extremely violated by the paparazzis and they had limitation to express what and who they really are because of it. Then I think they're not free happy people then.

Here I am, try to impress my family, my friends and my boy friend about how good I am in acting but I still haven't got important role in every audition I have ever took. I thought if I had one and maybe I will make so much money from it, walk in the red carpet and make them proud. My high school friends will excitedly open the year book to tell their friends that I was their classmate and wasn't so fancy as I am now. I thought I'd be very very happy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flash in my head ...
God had given me so many things I need.
I know that HAPPINESS is here, deep inside my heart ...
I now realized that HAPPINESS is an attitude, most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be
I will never be happy if I continue to search for what happiness consists of. I will never live if I am looking for the meaning of life.

Because I'm happy, I love my family, my friends and my LOVE one. Now I know that success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. I know I must be happy to ACT so the passion will bring me to the top.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Too Much Inside a Human Body

Kelenjar itu menggeliat, menggenjot, terengah-engah
Hormon itu keluar, mengalir, deras ke sekujur tubuh
Meluap, menggelora dan memacu jantung
Membakar dan menggerus

Pori-pori mulai bersekresi
Jemari bergetar, nafas memburu
Emosi bergejolak
Terlalu banyak, melimpah ruah
Membuat daging tipis

Hyper Hormone ...

"Hyperthyroidism is the term for overactive tissue within the thyroid gland, resulting in overproduction and thus an excess of circulating free thyroid hormones: thyroxine (T4), triiodothyronine (T3), or both. Thyroid hormone is important at a cellular level, affecting nearly every type of tissue in the body.

Thyroid hormone functions as a stimulus to metabolism and is critical to normal function of the cell. In excess, it both overstimulates metabolism and exacerbates the effect of the sympathetic nervous system, causing "speeding up" of various body systems and symptoms resembling an overdose of epinephrine (adrenaline). These include fast heart beat and symptoms of palpitations, nervous system tremor and anxiety symptoms, digestive system hypermotility (diarrhea), and weight loss"

(taken from Wiki)

dan mereka berkata .....

Apa lagi yang aku cari yah sekarang ? kan tinggal ketenangan ....pengen rasanya ada yang nungguin pas pulang kerja

Buat gue sih, istri itu tinggal di rumah aja, masak dan ngurus anak, biar gue yang cari nafkah

Gimana yah? aku mesti tetep baik sama dia ga? dia agresif banget, aku pusing ....

Gue juga bingung tiap kali dia ngajak jalan, gue tetep inget sama luuu ...

Aku siih pendengar yang baik, aku seneng denger pacar aku ngomong, makanya mudah-mudahan cepet punya pacar lagi

Gapapa kan nganter pulang? pengen tahu aja ada berapa tukang bubur yang ada di jalan dari sini ampe sana ....

Coba ... apa lagi siy yang kamu cari? sama aku aja, mau ga?

Katanya, kalau udah di atas umur 30, sudah rawan untuk melahirkan ...

Hmm, sebenernya sudah lama ingin aku utarakan, cuman pengen nunggu waktu yang tepat

Sekarang gue udah naik level, tunjangan buat keluarga, kesehatan, anak, istri melahirkan dan lain-lain, alhamdulillah udah dapet. Eh, ada waktu ga? jalan yuk ...

Tidak Bisa ....

Haruskah aku perjelas ..
Bahwa masa lalu, masa kita masih sangat muda .. itu berbeda ...
Dan percayalah, segala sesuatu dengan cepat berubah,
Hanya Tuhan yang berkuasa jika Dia tidak menghendaki sesuatu untuk berubah

Aku tahu ini menyakitkan, bahwa aku tidak bisa
Dan akan lebih menyakitkan bagimu jika aku berpura-pura,
Bahwa perasaanku tetap sama

Aku tahu kamu menyesal,
Aku pun tahu waktu itu semua berbayang
Kita masih sangat muda ...
Egois tapi tidak percaya diri

Aku mengerti keputusanmu dulu,
dan aku tidak akan menggugat,
Semua demi jalan kehidupan yang telah ditentukan

Disini, saat ini, walaupun deras air matamu mengalir,
Hentikan itu, karena aku tetap tidak bisa ..
Tidak bisa ......

The "S" Word

Once said that the best thing is Marry the Right Person ....
and the second best is just being Single ....

The worst one is Marry the Wrong Person ..

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Ka To Ku

Jatuh cinta
Pertama kali
Kurasakan
Berbeda dengan rasa yang dulu
Penuh canda tawa dan senang-senang

Kali ini
Cinta sangat perih
Tak bisa terungkap
Tak terumumkan

Cinta ini lebih dalam
Menggetarkan gumpalan daging di dalam dada
Menstimulus syaraf dari kaki dan punggung
Menggolakkan isi perut
Hingga mual dan muntah

Ukiran wajah
Tanpa cela
ataukah subjektifitas jiwa

Belaian jemari
genggaman tangan
hanya kurasakan
dan tak berani kutatap

Ka To Ku
Ku cinta
Hingga tak pernah kukenal lagi ego

Air mata, luka dan kebencian
Santapan harian

Cinta ini berbeda
Cinta ini setinggi tingginya
Cinta ini tak tertandingi

Cinta ini merubahku
Cinta ini anugerah

Cinta ini menyadarkan ku
Aku tidak SEMPURNA ...

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Ketika ku telanjang ..
ilham itu datang
rasio ku acuhkan

Kata hati itu cinta ..
memang itu adanya
Tak pernah terpikir untuk dusta

Ku cinta semua
Lekuk dan peluh
Kata
Nafsu
Jiwa ..

dan tak kusesali ..
Ketika ku telanjang ..



What I Love The Most ...

1. Playing Futsal or Basketball ato olahraga apa pun yang gue bisa .... I love Competition ...
Gue bakal bangun lebih pagi dan find my self with a lot of energy tiap kali mau olahraga .. Throw all my equipments into my Nike bag and ga perlu dandan dandan, siap keringetan, melepaskan semua energy negatif dari setiap bulir keringat yang keluar .. I feel very happy, very very happy, setelah banyak berkeringat

2. Making a very beautiful picture of mine, a little bit narcistic
Kalo Dian Sastro, setiap foto-fotonya jelas cantik, jadi ga salah dong kalo sewaktu-waktu gue bisa ambil foto gue sendiri yang bagus, gue jadi sedikit berbangga hati hehe ...

3. Making a great goal or 3 point shoot
Uhm, ini siyh maksudnya masih tetep nyambung ke nomor satu

4. Jalan, makan-makan dan ngobrol ga penting sama closest friends
Kalo barengan temen-temen terdekat, semuanya jadi menyenangkan. Do you agree?

5. Singing
Every time, every where ...




Friday, December 11, 2009

Kejam, Tega atau Jujur ?

Her Nokia 95 's ringing ....
and
She push the silence button ...
because ....
She doesn't want to answer anything at this moment ...
She doesn't want to pretend ...
Kejam ..
Tega .....
atau ..
Dia coba jujur sama diri sendiri ..
It's not pathetic being alone ...
It's pathetic being with the one she doesn't want to be with ...
Live free and honest ...
Jujur aja ...